Patience even when hungry.

I was craving a homemade cinnamon roll several days ago. I finally got one yesterday at the bakery in Hillsboro.  All they had was frozen ones. I bought 2 cause I figured hubby would want one if I had one.

It was a busy day yesterday trying to get ready for Valentine's parties for the school kids. Baby A finally let me walk away from her and get something done without hanging on me. She was sick for 6 days and very clingy and life still isn't right.

I have to take a pill for my thyroid function and then wait 30 minutes to eat.  I want that cinnamon roll! Well, I could have eaten an hour ago, but both little girls are around.  Baby A wanted some of daddy's.  I'm selfish and don't want to share mine (he didn't either). So after changing diapers and trying to get them busy (aka turning on Blue's Clues), I am hungry and wanting my cinnamon roll. It is 8:45 already!! A nice cup of coffee (now cold) and a roll have my name on it. Of course, sitting and enjoying it by myself won't be so great, but that is the only way I won't have to share....hopefully!

I don't know if most people have their "favorite things" or know things that make them happy. I don't.  I hate those questions asking what is your favorite food, color, restaurant, drink,  etc. Mine isn't always the same or set in stone. Maybe lots of people are that way and I just think other people know what they like. If someone wanted to surprise me by bringing a favorite of something, I feel kinda sorry for them. Sure, I like a good cappuccino or latte (as long as the coffee flavor isn't too strong). I've even told my hubby he could surprise me with one sometimes. Don't think that has happened. I like chocolate, but not a certain one really.

I decided I live in the moment.  Not just because I don't know or think I have favorites. Overall in life I have come to believe that is how I live. I can plan my day, but till the moment comes I don't know if I will be able to accomplish what I want to.  I'm hoping this feeling is mostly, or all, to do with the stage of life I'm in...mother of 5 kids 9 (almost 10) and under. Surely I can plan more when I don't have littles needing help and attention.

Well, that is a glimpse at my life right now in this "Household of 7."  Maybe some of my friends know me well enough to know there are certain things that may be my favorite.....at least in the moment.  And now it is after 9 and my cinnamon roll is sitting on a plate downstairs. Amberly wandered down there and I had to come back up with her. I guess just because I was craving a cinnamon roll days ago doesn't mean I still crave one today.

Nit Picking

"I would not wish this on anyone." That is what I have been saying a lot since Tuesday. That morning as I was combing April's very fine, blond hair I saw a dark spot...and it moved. Looking a little closer, I found another. I went to show it to Dean then Googled.....head lice! Yep, these terrible images confirmed it! (do not look if you are bothered by bugs!)

I knew we had to go to the school and check Alana or let them know. We had to go to town, so I made a stop at the school. Poor girl was eating lunch when we took her out to check her head. She lost her appetite after we found a live one, which meant she could not stay in school. We were headed to Wal-Mart, so added lice killing shampoo to the list. 

After getting home that afternoon we started inspecting and shampooing. Dean did the shampooing since I am pregnant and was advised not to. Alana had a lot of adult size lice I found while sectioning her hair and combing with the special comb, which gets some, but not near all of the lice and nits (eggs). These bugs have claws that attach to the hair! They can hold their breath when wet. The only thing to kill them is heat or maybe shampoo. Derek and April got a special spa time with daddy, too, but did not have anymore live ones. It took me 2 hours to comb through Alana's hair!

When I asked at the school if there were other kids with lice, they told me no. I was in contact with nurse Alissa quite a bit this week. She was very helpful. On Wednesday, she told me they started checking most of the school and found others. Alana went to school Wednesday since we had treated her. That afternoon, I found more little live ones, eggs hatching. Ugh!! She stayed home Thursday and half of Friday. We got a prescription shampoo, which I could not touch. Powerful stuff!!

Not only did I do a LOT of combing and picking in her hair, we also had to wash everything she came in contact with in hot water. I was blessed my dad came on Wednesday and Thursday to help do a bunch of laundry.

One time while combing Alana's hair, I commented I didn't know why God created lice. Alana replied that they used to be good till sin entered the world, then they became bad. hmmm...

I cannot tell you how many times I have inspected and combed and picked nits out of her hair since Tuesday! I am done with it! That doesn't count going through 3 other kids' hair! I would seriously consider moving out for a couple days so they could all die to make sure they would be gone! 

They say the lice can become resistant to the shampoos. Ugh! I hope we don't have to deal with this again...ever....or least a LONG time!!! I also pray we can have a lice-free Christmas!!

May God bless each and every one of you!!

The Holy Spirit is Alive!!

I was hoping to type this yesterday, but didn't "find" the time. I was hoping to have some peaceful moments before the kids got up to type now, but right before typing the first letter, heard some noise. *sigh* The life of a mother.


Sunday, July 15, 2012 is a day I hope I don't soon forget..and I hope to have more days like it! I went to church after having a week of a couple bad days, struggling with kids, household, feelings of not being what I want to be. Saturday was a really strange day. I was EXHAUSTED!! I could not find the motivation or energy to do much of anything! I thought a couple times that Satan was at work in my life. I prayed for strength, but didn't feel it.


We have been watching a video series as a church during Sunday School by Jim Cymbala about the Holy Spirit. I started reading Francis Chan's book, "Forgotten God." (I don't like that I read books, but don't remember much right after reading.) Wow! Our church (not just Ebenfeld, but the church as a whole!) needs the Holy Spirit to move. I thought of our church and me, how we go every Sunday, but do we really listen to what is preached? (it's hard with kids to really listen)  Do we go out and do what is commanded to us in the Bible? We show up on Sunday, sit through the service, hopefully connect with God (which we can do any day), but do we connect with each other? Do we use that time to really encourage one another? I don't always feel that when I go to church, except from our Pastor couple, Gaylord and Peggy, who always offer smiles and hugs.


This Sunday when getting into groups to discuss the video during Sunday School, I talked, I shared about the feeling of wanting the Holy Spirit to move within our church. I don't always talk much, mostly because my brain is full and I can't think enough to say anything. During the Worship Service, I felt the Holy Spirit as we were singing. The last song really spoke to me, "Take My Life." 

Take my life and let it be

Consecrated Lord to Thee

Take my moments, and my days

Let them flow in ceaseless praise

Take my hands, and let them move

At the impulse of Thy Love

Take my feet, and let them be

Swift and beautiful for Thee

Take my voice and let me sing

Always only for my King

Take my lips and let them be

Filled with messages from Thee

Take my silver and my gold

Not a mite would I withhold

Take my intellect and use

Every power as you choose

Take my will and make it Thine

It shall be no longer mine

Take my heart it is Thine own

It shall be Thy royal throne

Take my love, my Lord I pour

At your feet its treasure store

Take myself and I will be

Ever only all for Thee

Chorus:  Here am I all of me

Take my life it's all for Thee

The tears started coming, I raised my hands, not caring who saw. I let the words speak to me. I also disobeyed when I felt God telling me to go forward to the front. What would people think of me? Do I want to be that vulnerable? I even stayed put when I felt my feet trying to move out of the pew! I couldn't do something that other people don't do.


Our church has a sharing and prayer time every Sunday. I got up and talked, I believe the Holy Spirit spoke through me. I don't remember what all I said. I cried, I shared about struggling with kids and life. I think I said a few times, through tears, how we need the Holy Spirit. I wish the service would have been recorded because it would be nice to know what was said through my lips!


After the prayer, I had to take Alana and April to the bathroom, duty as a mother and a dad that does sound and has to stay in the service. I also checked on Abi in the nursery. When the girls and I were going back up, Dean had come down and said I needed to get back upstairs cause they were talking about me. 


More of the story, the way God works. A woman that used to be a part of the Ebenfeld community was there with her 2 daughters and 2 grand-daughters. I think this was part of God's plan. I guess the oldest daughter had been talking while I was downstairs. I don't know what she said, but wish I could have heard it. Her mom, Kathy Davis, was talking when I came up. Pretty soon, she asked if I was back and told me to come to the front cause she wanted to give me a hug. We stood at the front of the church, and she talked to me like nobody else was there. It was powerful! Somebody asked me after the service what our connection was. The only connection is that we are daughters of the King!


What a powerful time! I hope I don't forget it and that others don't forget it either. If God can use me, a usually soft-spoken person, he can use all of us no matter where you are in life. I have not been the best Christian lately. I find it hard to remember to pray and to study the Word. I get busy with life with 4 young kids. I get frustrated and stressed, and forget to ask the Lord to come alongside and do life with me. I also don't ask for help from other believers. I think I should be able to do it on my own. Kathy encouraged me to reach out to others in our church when I need to. That is what we are to do. We don't have to go through life on our own. Sometimes with 4 kids ages 7, 5, 3, and 1 it seems like I don't have time or energy to reach out to others. I barely have time to take a shower! I don't have much to talk about besides life with kids and other people don't always want to hear about that. 


Well, that is all I can think to type right now....and I smell a diaper that needs changing!


May we call on the Holy Spirit to live in us and follow His leading in our lives!!

Harvest 2012

 Harvest 2012 began on Memorial Day. The first time that has happened that my father in law can recall. Dean got the combine out yesterday morning. Derek was eager to get out and help him. 

  The girls and I decided to go shopping. Carter's had their Memorial Day sale. When I called Dean at one point, he said they were getting ready to head out. Other trucks were going by, hauling wheat to town and honking at him. It was time to get to the field!


  Since the boys were in the field, the girls met Papa and Nana at the new Braum's in Newton for supper. We got home around 9:30. The boys didn't come till about 10:00 when we were on our way to the neighbor's to get milk, farm fresh milk. The boys ate some supper while the girls tried to wind down and get to bed. Derek napped in the combine, so wasn't quite ready for bed yet.


  This morning, Dean had to fix the baler to go bale a couple more bales he had been trying to get done before starting harvest. Farm equipment is not guaranteed to be free from breaking down. Farmers have to know a lot if they want to save money and fix things themselves. Dean's dad, who is 86, comes to the farm everyday and helps.


  Dean also had to unhook the baler from ONE of our AGCO tractors and hook up the grain cart. They use that to unload the combine on the go in the field instead of taking the time to unload in the truck. Our grain cart driver came after dinner. Dean still had some other things to do before going out to the field. Derek kept asking when he could go out and go with daddy. He was eager to get ride the combine again.

The girls took naps this afternoon (too bad not at the same time)! After everybody was awake, we went to pick mulberries in our yard. Since the boys were close to home, and rain in the forecast, I got by with sending sandwiches one of the times Dean came home.

  Dean was cutting seed wheat to be used for this fall's planting, so he was unloading at home. Grandpa drove the combine, with Derek helping. Derek was so excited when he came home after 10:00. (he napped again so isn't tired and still up at midnight) No sooner had Dean gone back out to drive equipment in, and it started raining. Praying for no hail! We need some rain to help "fill" the big cracks in the ground, but hail would not be good for the wheat.

Trying again...

Summer is Here

We need some structure around here. I don't know if that is even possible with summer on the farm. I don't know from one day to the next what Dean will be doing. (I wonder if he knows when he wakes up!) I still need to try to get some order to inside life...maybe I should wait till after wheat harvest which is fast approaching with the hot, windy weather. Then it will be wait till after double crop planting, then...


I wish my mood wasn't so dependent on the cleanliness of my house. I like to have order to it, too, because I thought that was something I could control. Instead it seems to control me and my mood. Sometimes everywhere I look it's a mess, though, and I can't handle that. If I can clean one area I feel better. Structure...I try to get better organized with my cleaning even. I have a schedule of different things to do every day and even once a month. I don't always get to it even though I've been trying for the past month to stick to it. I have to remember if I don't get it done that day or week, it will still be there! It's not like we have people coming to our house that I need to have it clean, it's just for me and my sanity!!

  The above was written on June 8, 2011. All of it still holds true. Harvest is fast approaching...early this year.  Now I have a 7, 5, 3, and 1 year old. My mood, sadly, is still dependent on the cleanliness of my house. I still don't have structure. I keep thinking if I could have a couple hours of uninterrupted time to think and plan. Oh the things I could do:

    1. Menu planning

    2. Household rules

    3. Chores assigned

Ok, maybe I would need a couple hours for each one! I am in survival mode. Even though I know all these things would help this household run smoother, I can't seem to get them implemented.

I am hoping to blog about wheat harvest this year..I planned on that last year, too!  I wish I could write more, but my brain can't think with kids needing attention.  I will see what I get written this year.  I thought it would be neat for non-farm people to get a taste of what harvest is like down on the farm.

New Year

Well, here I am again. I don't have very organized thoughts, but I'm gonna type anyway. I have been wanting to again for quite a while. I have one follower and nobody else may read this which makes it frustrating to write. Actually, makes me feel alone. This day may not be the best day to try to write, at least not in a positive way. 


It is one of those days that I don't feel fit to be a mother. Am I the only one that feels that once in a while?? Sometimes I read what people post on Facebook about being a mother is the best thing in their life and I think, "Why can't I feel that way?" Some days being a mother is one of my biggest stresses!  Back in October, I wrote about how I was feeling my life was so chaotic. Unfortunately, it hasn't gotten much better! (And it won't for a while) I NEED to figure out how to be ok with the way life is or figure out baby steps to change some things!


Last week, I took the time to look for organization ideas on Pinterest. Yes, I started a Home Management Binder. Now, we have to see if I get it organized enough to put it to use!! That is my problem with trying to change things, I may actually come up with a plan, but don't get it put into practice.


You would think by child #4 I would have more things figured out, but no! I don't get out much either to socialize with other moms anymore. We used to have a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group in town...I was even the Coordinator for 3 years. I can't say that I always wanted to go or really completely "fit in" but at least it did get me out and with other moms. Then nobody wanted to lead it anymore. Now I guess somebody thinks nobody wants a mom's group. I have heard there is interest in a less organized mom get together time where you can socialize while the kids play close by. I tried attending a MOPS group in another town, but that schedule wasn't the best for us. Then I went to a group even farther away, but the fear of getting other sickness and germs kept me from going a few times.


Part of the problem with "socializing" is that I don't have much to talk about..unless you want to hear about how we are potty training middle A and took the pacifier away at the same time. Some days I am cleaning up accidents and have to tell her several times that her pacis had holes in them and we had to throw them away. Baby A doesn't sleep through the night and doesn't usually nap much during the day. She likes her momma and cries when I leave the room some. And then there is Big Brother who will be 5 in two days and has a mind of his own. Big A is off to school and does well getting up, but watch out when she is tired or things don't go her way!


I used to almost pride myself on having a good memory. Not anymore with mommy brain turning it to mush. I thought I was still in pretty good shape after baby 1 & 2, and maybe even 3, but #4 has zapped it!!  I had to go to Party City to get birthday supplies a couple days ago. I bought for 3 birthdays since they are in January, March, and 2 in April. The day after I bought cups, plates, and napkins for Big Bros party, I found the ones I bought just a few days ago!! At least they are just a solid color so can be stored for another party.
    I can't remember things I read in books or when I do actually try to do, or remember to do, devotions. 


I wish I could say I don't care that my house is a mess because at least my kids are happy and I'm spending time with them, but that isn't always the case either. I have realized that I am selfish with my time. I complain about not getting to do something I want to do. You may say, do those things when they are in bed, but that doesn't seem to happen. Usually Baby A, or somebody, is up almost till I crawl into bed. I am not a morning person and have been having a REALLY hard time getting up lately. It doesn't help that Baby A is still getting up at night at least once, sometimes twice. If she isn't up, Middle A gets up sometimes, toddling into our room and next to our bed usually because she has to go potty, but doesn't always talk when she comes in. With my memory problem, I don't always remember what I was doing when I am interrupted. Some may say, you can go back to it when the kids are taken care of and happy, but that doesn't always work either.


Dean is really good at helping, although sometimes I have to admit I wish he would do more. How can I ask that of him? I am the stay at home mom and should be doing my job! My job is to pick up after everybody else or teach them to do it themselves. Sometimes it is less energy for me to just do it myself, but then I think about how I want the kids to learn to do those things. I should be able to keep this house in order and keep the kids somewhat in order. When I do have time, I should be trying to figure out what needs to be changed and plan that out. When I have time, I want to be talking to Dean about what we need to do to make things go smoother, but my brain is in shut down mode by then usually and I can't think what we need to discuss.


I don't know if any of this makes sense. I tried to read it through before publishing, and found some mistakes so don't know how many are still here. Maybe I "said" too much, but I am going to post it anyway because this is life in this Household of 6.

Mornings

Mornings are when I usually get the most done. If it doesn't get done before noon..actually about 10 or 11...it may not get done. Little A mostly takes 20-30 minute cat naps a couple times a day. Sometimes I can't put her down or she wakes up.


Meal times are also hard. I am not good at planning meals. Some days when I think I have a plan, I have fussy kids and it doesn't go according to my plan anyway.


It is hard for me to get out of the house in the morning, especially when I have things to get done. I know it will be hard to catch up later in the day. With 2 or 3 kids, depending on the day, to get ready, I'd rather stay home sometimes depending on what I am getting out of the house for and how long I can stretch it. If I'm not getting something done at home, I may as well be gone so I don't feel bad or stressed about it at that moment.